We won’t always understand what others went through and what makes it so hard for them to forgive…unless you’ve walked in their shoes.

There are situations where we can never fully recovered from; that will haunt us for the rest of our lives.

Then, there are people that do not deserve to be forgiven –  violent criminals, murderers, rapists.

And the worst thing we can say is “just forgive and be free”. It’s easy to say that until it happens to us.

What do we do then when we find ourselves unable or unwilling to forgive?

If we do nothing, unforgiveness will grow into a stronghold within us.

This stronghold of unforgiveness will cause us to be become more bitter and resentful.

Our old wounds will not heal.  Instead the memories from our past will continue to haunt us.

In Mt 18:23-35, we’re told that we must forgive or else we won’t receive forgiveness.

Until we forgive, the strongholds within us will remain and even grow stronger.  We won’t receive forgiveness because we’ve neglected the forgiveness that we’ve already received.

The spirit of forgiveness will stop flowing through us.

Instead of living a life filled with God’s mercy, grace, and patience, our lives will be filled with judgment, anger, and resentment. 

It will affect our relationships and just about everything else – our marriage, parenting, work, hobbies and even the way we drive.

Our physical and mental health will deteriorate if we keep holding on to unforgiveness and allowing it to grow.

We will lose our peace and joy and become angrier and grumpier.

How do we do forgive then when we’re not able to?

It takes hard work.  It means studying, praying, getting help, and trying again and again.

We have to decide in our hearts we want to forgive and are willing to keep trying.

It’s not excusing all behaviors and actions that others have done.   It’s about freeing our hearts from the bondage of bitterness and resentment.

We don’t have to forget those who are out to harm us or those who are out to steal from us.

But we have to want to do the hard work and go on a journey for forgiving them.