Sarah wanted so much to move on from her past.  She’s been dealing with depression and she realizes that it has something to do with her past.  Yet, the more she tries to forget, the more her past keeps coming back to haunt her. 

Her soul is still tied to her past in an unhealthy way and because of that she’s having difficulty in her current relationship. 

Soul ties can happen through your past relationships, vows that you make to each other or physical intimacy.  They can be healthy and natural such as in marriage, parenting, close friendships and community. 

Healthy soul ties are necessary for us to grow and mature.  God created us to have these kind of soul ties.  We’re made to grow deeper with one another, especially within the context of marriage, family, friends and community.  Soul ties are meant to be good and most of us have experienced these healthy soul ties. 

On the other hand, harmful soul ties happen when we commit adultery, have sex outside of marriage, idolize people in an unhealthy way and in harmful relationships. 

Soul ties can vary and take on many different forms depending on the relationships that we have.  Every relationship is different and so is the soul tie that was formed. 

Examples where soul ties are formed: 

• friends 

• someone we like 

• people we admire 

• leaders who have authority over us 

• family members 

• people we idolize 

• porn 

• prostitution 

It’s possible to have seemingly healthy soul ties that can turn harmful.  This usually happens when we place a relationship above our relationship with God or when we become obsessed with the relationship. 

When we depend on people to meet our deepest needs instead of God, we create a kind of soul tie that can never satisfy.  A good soul tie can also turn harmful when we allow control, distrust and bitterness into the relationship. 

When a parent becomes too controlling of her child, the soul tie will turn harmful for both of them.  When there’s bitterness involved in the relationship between a church leader and its members, the soul tie will become toxic. 

Only God can meet our deepest needs when it comes to maintaining healthy soul ties in our marriage, family, friendships and church life.  That’s why our most important soul tie has to be with Him first. 

Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.  Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. -John 15:4-5 

Apart from God, we can do nothing.  We won’t be able to have healthy soul ties, find inner healing or break off harmful soul ties from our past. 

Harmful soul ties 

Harmful soul ties can affect your thoughts, your current relationships and even place you in bondage until you break them off. Your mind, will and emotion are affected because you still have an emotional bond with people and events from your past.   

Sarah struggled with this issue due to her past relationships.  The soul ties from her past affected her marriage and as a result she struggled with issues of trust and intimacy.  It’s as if a part of her is still tied to another person from her past. 

She would sometimes find herself enjoying a conversation and all of a sudden feelings of guilt would overwhelm her.  

 ”I just can’t seem to understand why I’m still struggling with thoughts of something that happened over ten years ago. There are times when I just feel dirty. If people were to really know me, they’ll reject me.” Sarah told Julie. 

“How have you been praying over this?”  Julie asked. 

“I’ve prayed that this will just go away but it seems like nothing is happening.” 

“What about inner healing prayer?  Have you tried that?” 

“I’ve heard about it, but what is that about?” 

“It helps you to focus on the area that needs healing the most. You then invite Jesus to heal you and set you free.”   

Julie explained that Sarah is dealing with soul ties from her past and through inner healing prayer she’ll be able to find help to break them off. 

Because Julie is on the prayer team that helps people such as Sarah, she invited her over for a prayer session and explained to Sarah more about the process. 

Here are the steps to finding freedom from soul ties through inner healing prayer: 

Acknowledge there is a soul tie in your life. 

If your past relationships continue to affect you and issues such as bitterness, distrust, shame or fear of intimacy are affecting your current relationships – allow God to show you the areas that you need to heal. 

Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again. – 1 Thessalonians 5:23 

Begin by asking yourself a few questions. 

Have you made any vows or covenants in a past relationship such as: 

– A promise to always be together? 

– A vow to never love another person again? 

– A covenant to give your heart to someone? 

Soul tie can happen when we hang out with someone for a long period of time even if it’s just casual.  That’s because a part of us continue to remain with the person even after we’ve moved on.  It does not mean this soul tie is bad but it can turn harmful when we handle it wrongly. 

Have you been sexually involved with someone outside of marriage in the past?  A part of us stays with the person that we’re involved with and if we’ve been involved with multiple people, pieces of ourselves will remain with them until we break off these soul ties. 

“Let’s start by allowing God to point out to you areas that you need to heal.  Just pause and allow Him to work in your heart. Take as much time as you need and invite Him to show you what you need to know.” Julie said. 

As Sarah waited silently, images from her past came to mind.  By waiting and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide her during this time, Sarah was able to focus on the areas of her life that needed healing. 

What’s helpful here is being in a place where she does not feel rushed but instead can focus and allow God to work in her heart. 

“Is there anything that you think that’s causing a soul tie in your life?”  Julie asked after helping Sarah to understand what a soul tie is.  It might take a while to have a good grasp of this so don’t rush through the process. 

“Yes, I was involved with someone in the past but I’ve tried to forget that part of my life.  It was just too painful.”  Sarah said.  “This happened years ago but it just won’t go away.” 

Sarah acknowledged that she was in an unhealthy sexual relationship that has caused her to struggle with feelings of shame and guilt.  

“Let’s try to focus and pray over the area that you need healing from.”  Julie led Sarah through a prayer of breaking off her soul ties.  During this time, they focus on breaking the soul tie that Sarah had from the previous relationship. 

“I confess that I have soul ties with ______ and I release them to You.  I break them off in the name of Jesus and I invite Your Spirit to come in and heal the place where I was wounded by this relationship. 

I bring all my pain and struggles before You.  I admit that I don’t have the power to change my past and I place my trust in Your power to change me and heal me.”  Sarah prayed. 

This prayer does not have to be long or wordy but it has to come from the heart.  The power to change comes from God and not from ourselves.  That’s the key here.  It’s about how you depend on His power instead of your own. 

That means having a posture and even lifestyle of dependence and surrender to Him. 

Emotions 

There will be times when we cannot connect with our emotions if it becomes too painful to go there. This is when you need to allow God to help you recognize what’s going on. 

“Reveal to me the areas that I’ve shut down emotionally.  Is there a soul tie in that area that I’ve been trying to avoid? Is there a pain that I’ve been trying to hide and deny all these years? “ Sarah prayed. 

As she waits upon the Spirit, she was led to the hidden areas of her life where she needed healing.  Sarah has been suppressing this area as it’s been a source of deep hurt. 

“Do you sense or feel anything? “Julie asked and waited.  They both paused for a couple minutes in silence.  It’s important during this time to just be able to wait and let God do His work. 

“Yes, it’s as if Jesus is there with me as I deal with feelings that I’ve tried to ignore all these years.  He’s with me as I struggle through the pain of dealing with this issue.” 

“Is He saying or doing anything?” Julie asked. 

“He placed His arms around me and lets me know that He’s with me and…that I don’t have to be afraid to face the pain.  I can sense His comfort and assurance for my life.” 

One reason Sarah has a sensitivity in this area is because she has an active prayer life and she’s used to praying with her friends in this way where they spend time waiting and visualizing how Jesus would minister to them. 

This might not work for everyone especially those who are new so be flexible and allow God to do the work.  It’s ok to process this differently.  Some people can only process this quietly, others might have to be more verbal in order to connect with what’s going on. 

Prayer: 

“I admit that I have soul ties in my life from a past relationship and from promises that I’ve made.  I pray for these soul ties to be broken by the authority that has been given to me through the name of Jesus. 

I renounce all promises, covenants and vows I’ve made to someone in the past.  I ask for forgiveness and I forgive the person I’ve had sexual intimacy with in the past.   

I receive Your healing and freedom for my life and I replace my soul tie with Your presence and promises. 

I invite Jesus into my life to guide me and heal me as I go through this journey of healing.” 

Allow Jesus to journey with you as you go through this healing prayer.  Pray with an open mind, open heart and open hands so that you can receive Him and His healing. 

Sometimes you can sense His presence and guidance during your prayer time.  Other times, you’ll find Him in the quietness of the morning, during a long walk or even in the middle of a busy day. 

It’s okay if nothing happens.  Sometimes it takes long moments of silence before we start to hear from Him.  Keep spending time with His word and allow His word to speak to you. It’s rather simple, don’t make it too complicated.  But you do have to be intentional in creating the space and time to do this. 

Be specific 

Be specific with the names and events that you’re praying over instead of a very generic prayer. 

Ask God to keep showing you any area of soul ties that you might not be aware of. As He reveals more to you, keep trusting in what He’s doing. 

When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future. – John 16:13 

By praying over the names of people and events, Sarah was able to break off her soul ties. She also discovered soul ties in her life where she’s placed her hopes and desires in a person only to be let down.  That hurt was something that she carried on through the years and it affected her and her present relationships. 

Forgive yourself 

Ask God to keep speaking His love and grace into your life and allow Him to remove all your guilt and shame. He forgives you fully and He will give you a brand new start each time you turn to Him. 

All of your sins have been nailed to the Cross once and for all.  That includes your past, present and future sins.  Once you’re forgiven of these sins, He no longer holds anything against you.  You’re fully forgiven and fully free.  There’s no more condemnation. 

So also Jesus suffered and died outside the city gates to make his people holy by means of his own blood.  - Hebrews 13:12 

Sarah struggled with forgiving herself.  Guilt and shame prevented her from fully letting go and finding healing but as she prayed with Julie, she was able to receive God’s forgiveness for her past. 

“What’s going on?” Julie asked. 

“I’m constantly struggling with forgiving myself.”  Sarah replied. 

“Let me pray over you and ask for His grace to be poured into your heart.”  Julie said.   

“God has forgiven you fully on the cross.  All of your sins have been wiped away. Anything that tells you’re that you’re not forgiven is not from God.”  Julie said. 

“I pray against the lies of guilt and shame from the enemy and I ask for God’s grace to touch your heart in a fresh new way.” 

During that time, Sarah was able to sense a deep forgiveness and cleansing that she’s never had before.  It was as if the blood of Jesus was renewing her and making her new again.  Although she’s heard about God’s grace all these years, she’s never truly experienced it in her heart until Julie prayed over her. 

There were so many voices in her life that kept reminding her of her guilt and shame but what she needed to hear was the voice of love and forgiveness.  During her prayer session, she was able to receive and hear that voice from God as Julie prayed over her.  As a result, she was able to forgive herself and begin the process of healing and restoration. 

The blood of Jesus will keep washing and renewing you each day. 

Whenever you fail, you can run to Him and allow His blood to cleanse you and renew you. 

Just think how much more the blood of Christ will purify our consciences from sinful deeds so that we can worship the living God. For by the power of the eternal Spirit, Christ offered himself to God as a perfect sacrifice for our sins.   Hebrews 9:14 

What is it that you’re struggling with today?  Bring it all to Him and as He forgives you, forgive yourself fully.  Maybe you already know this but have you ever truly experienced it in your heart? 

For Sarah, this practice has become a continuous process of healing, restoration and cleansing.  The blood of Jesus keeps renewing her each day as she spends time with Him.  Her mind and soul are constantly renewed as she commits herself to a life of worship and devotion. 

Don’t get discouraged if you experience setbacks or struggles.  See this as a process, not a one time event.  Find someone who can pray for you and a safe community that you can journey with to support you.  Sometimes your breakthrough will only happen when you pray with others who are able to minister to your soul.   

Other times, you might have to step back from things that you soul is addicted to such as success, recognition and the adoration of people.  Only then, will you be able to focus on the healing process. 

“Why is it that after our prayer sessions, some of the issues keep coming back?”  Sarah asked Julie when they met for coffee two weeks later. 

“This is something you have to keep up with.  You can come back for more prayer sessions but what’s important is to learn to pray over it each day on your own.” Julie said. “You have to be able to feed yourself spiritually even as you’re learning from others.” 

Julie also explained the importance of maintaining a daily devotional time and having community with others who can help Sarah in her journey.  Her devotional time is that sacred time and place where she can devote her best energy to simply be in the presence of God.  Often, this is where deep healing takes place. 

“See this as a journey and sometimes the most important part is the journey itself.  Stay with it and you’ll get there.”  Julie said. 

God’s voice 

Don’t allow your heart to be discouraged in your journey to listen to His voice. There are many voices around you trying to get your attention each day but you have to decide to intentionally listen to God’s voice instead of the voices around you.  This could mean a change of lifestyle, making major sacrifices, giving up some friendships, taking a break from leading, fasting and doing things that you might not like doing such as asking for help. 

Take care of the spiritual condition of your heart first so that you can hear Him more clearly each day.  This will involve giving your best time, energy and resources to this part of your life.  Allowing His Spirit to make a mark in our heart is more important than living to make a mark on this world. 

That is why the Holy Spirit says, “Today when you hear his voice, don’t harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled, when they tested me in the wilderness.” -Hebrews 3:15 

God wants to speak to you today.  Listen to His gentle and compassionate voice as you surrender your life to Him and allow Him to guide you through this process of healing and restoration. 

If you struggle with listening to God, start by setting time aside each day where you can be silent before Him.  Reduce the amount of noise around you such as entertainment, games, phone, social media and tv.  The more silence and solitude you have in your life, the better you’ll be able to focus and listen to God’s voice.  This is something you have to battle over each day and might not come easy. 

“There are days when I’m just sitting there in silence but nothing happens.  Am I doing this right?”  Sarah said. 

“It’s ok to be silent and to hear nothing.  If you struggle with being silent when sitting down, try moving around or walking outside.  It’s something you have to work on.  If you’re not used to silence, it’ll take time to get used to it. 

Just trust that the more you learn to live with silence, the closer you’ll get to hearing from God and the best way to start is by spending time soaking in His word.”  Julie said. 

“What’s soaking in the word?”  Sarah asked. 

“Well, you spend time meditating and slowly going through scripture until you feel like you’re soaking in it.  That’s when it speaks to your heart as if God is speaking to you directly.”  Julie said.  ”Just don’t rush through the process.  You have to really slow down and find the time.  Then slowly reflect on scripture and allow it to speak to you.” 

As Sarah practiced slowing down her life and simplifying everything around her, she was able to hear God speaking into her life more than ever. 

Your walk with God is the most important soul tie you can have.  Getting rid of harmful soul ties also means you’ll have to replace them with the right kind of soul tie.  Make this the most important part of your life so that He can heal and transform you. 

But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him. - 1 Corinthians 6:17