Forgiving people from your past 

Sexual intimacy with someone you’re not married to will result in a harmful soul tie.  Each time you give yourself away in such a way, it’s like a piece of you stays with the person.   

Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never!  And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.”  – 1 Corinthians 6:15-16 

Oftentimes, the healing process will not happen until you break off the soul tie.  God wants to restore you and make you whole again but He also wants you depend on His power first.  It is only through His power that you’ll be able to break off these soul ties. The scars from your past may still remain but it’s the healing in your heart that will take place.  Instead of shame, He will bless and renew your soul. 

Instead of shame and dishonor, you will enjoy a double share of honor. You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours. – Isaiah 61:7 

Begin by forgiving people from your past that you had sexual intimacy with. As you pray for them, keep releasing all of your bitterness, regrets, shame and guilt to Jesus. 

“I forgive those whom I’ve had sexual affairs with and I receive Your forgiveness for my life.  Thank you for the blood of Jesus that has washed me clean and made me whole again.  I receive all of Your grace and for making me new and righteous.” 

Keep receiving His grace and live as someone who has been made new and righteous before Him.  It’s possible to struggle with this concept or even relapse from time to time.  But keep pursuing after Him and have people pray with you and over you. 

Self-condemnation is one of the major struggles that many people have.  In order to be set free from this, we have to break the chain of self-condemnation first.  Oftentimes, this can be traced to our upbringing or childhood, when we begin to develop this mindset.   

 
“I pray for the spirit of self-condemnation to be broken in my life.  I receive Your grace for my life, for my five year old self and for the mistakes I made when I was in high school.  I’m fully set free and there is now no more condemnation on my life.  I reject all the voices of the enemy and the voices of the world that keep accusing me.”  

But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.” – Mark 11:25 

By practicing forgiveness toward others, you’ll be able to set yourself free.  It does not mean you have to be friends again with someone who’s betrayed you but in your heart, you decide to not hold anything against the person by forgiving them fully. 

Forgiving yourself and accepting God’s forgiveness. 

“But most of the time, I still feel dirty and ashamed of my past”, Sarah said.  “Whenever people give me a compliment, I’d struggle with the fear that they would find out about the real me, about how dirty I am.” 

Sarah is great at quoting verses and knowing all the right theology.  But there’s one thing that she cannot overcome, and that’s her struggle with shame and guilt.  Shame and guilt has been spoken into her heart from the time she was young.   

They have become such strongholds that they’re preventing her from living freely under God’s grace and forgiveness. 

Prayer to forgive oneself: 

“I thank You for shedding Your blood for me on the Cross.  I thank You for the work that You’ve already done in releasing me from condemnation and judgment. 

I receive Your forgiveness for what I’ve done in the past.  Thank You that I’m now fully forgiven and cleansed through Your blood.” 

The key to breaking off a difficult soul tie such as this is to not depend so much on your emotions but instead on God’s word. Your feelings can deceive you but only the truth from His word can set you free.   

These strongholds of shame and guilt can only be broken when we allow His word to keep transforming us.  Just knowing verses and theology is not enough.  You have to let His word be real to you.  Don’t approach the bible as if it’s just a text book.  Learn to listen and have a relationship with the living word.  That’s when it will truly transform your life. 

And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” – John 8:32 

For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. -2 Corinthians 3:17 

Freedom comes from knowing the truth, and that includes the truth about yourself, about what your need, your own brokenness and facing your own pain. Sometimes this means having people who can speak truthfully into your life.  The truth can hurt but you will need to hear it often if you want to be free. 

That’s why if all you do is entertain yourself, you will not grow or find freedom.  But if you surround yourself with people who can speak truth with grace into your life, then you will begin the journey toward freedom. 

Who are the people around you who can speak truth into your life?  People who can do it with wisdom, prayer, love, grace and are willing to receive truth themselves.  They are not people who are merely critical or like to point out what’s wrong.  Instead, they are those who are willing to journey with you and even hurt with you because of how much they love you. 

Anyone can criticize, but only those who are willing to journey with you through pain and discomfort can speak truth into your life. 

Prayer: 

 ”I forgive ______ and I pray for him and his family.  I accept Your forgiveness and cleansing for my life. Thank you for making me clean and new again each day.”   Sarah prayed. 

“Keep receiving His cleansing and renewal for your soul as you break off your soul ties.  Just pray over this whenever you have to.  Allow the blood of Jesus to keep washing you and making you new again.  You are a new creation in Him and He will keep renewing your heart each day as you turn to Him.” Julie said. 

As Julie prayed with Sarah, God gave her the courage and authority to break off her soul ties even when she did not feel like she has the power to do so. 

How do you know you’re cleansed if you still struggle with thoughts of being unclean? 

We will continue to struggle in the flesh and in this world.  What we need to understand is that in the spiritual realm and in God’s kingdom, we’re now fully forgiven and fully cleansed.  While our flesh may continue to struggle, it is our position in the kingdom that will set us free. That’s why we have to learn to live out our spiritual position and not just our position here on earth. 

What has to change is our view of ourselves and that can only happen when we immerse ourselves in His presence and allow His living word to change us. 

Here are some helpful ideas: 

• Avoid places, people and events that can trigger the soul tie. 

• Get involved with a spiritual community that can pray with you and journey with you. 

• Journey with a few fellow pilgrims that you feel safe with. 

• Get help from recovery and prayer groups. 

It’s not always easy to find the right people to journey with but if you make the effort and you learn to trust others, you will eventually find them.