Self-care is not selfish when you’re doing it so that you can take care of others and help them in the process. If you’re a parent, you can only help your child if you take good care of your own physical and mental health.

If we want to help our child grow emotionally, we have to grow and mature emotionally. If we want them to be mentally healthy, we must practice healthy mental habits ourselves.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28

It’s true that we’re selfish in nature and by default will care for ourselves more than others.

This is how we can tell when we do something that’s self-focused:

• It takes us away from caring for others.
• It makes us even lazier in caring for ourselves.
• It is used as a way to escape from our responsibilities to others.

Caring for ourselves is not some lazy activity where we do nothing and avoid caring for others. It should be the other way around. It takes hard work and its end result is meant to help and serve others.

Self-care also involves resting and depending on God more than on ourselves. That’s why we take a day off from a frenetic lifestyle, slow down and surrender to God.

We also learn to do less, say no to more distractions, and allow God to do more in our inner lives.

Just as our bodies can replenish themselves, we need our minds and soul to be renewed when we rest. Resting well is more important than working hard because that’s when we’re truly renewed from the inside out. 

We’re created to renew naturally and also through the presence of God within our hearts.

This process is not a lazy activity but an active effort of surrendering and depending on God and the work He’ll do within us when we turn our focus to Him.

Prayer:

“Thank You for giving me time to rest, to depend on You, and to receive from You. I surrender my own desire to want to live life my way. I will wait on You and Your direction for my life.

I give up striving in my own power and I will wait upon You to renew me from the inside out.”

How should you wait?

Waiting on God is not about time spent but more about the posture of our hearts.

Do you rush ahead and do things your way? Or do you have that sensitivity in your heart to know if something is of God? Even when we deal with something practical such as taking on a new job that pays more, we can ask ourselves if that job will fit a lifestyle that honors God or will take us further away.

Sometimes there are no immediate or clear answers, but that’s okay. It’s common to wrestle and pray over issues like these until they become clearer. People might preach at you with their answers, but ultimately, you’ll have to develop that sensitivity in your own heart to know what’s from God.

I don’t usually enjoy going to a spa or getting a massage. For some reason, I walk away feeling less rested after a long massage. I did one of those 3-hour packages once with my wife, and halfway through, I was feeling anxious when they placed these cucumbers over my eyes.

But I’ve always felt good after a nice workout in the gym or a good dance session. Recently, I took up kickboxing at a gym, and it was therapeutic even though I was there punching hard at bags. That whole experience of being drenched in sweat and unable to catch my breath helps me relax and enjoy the moment.  I usually walk away feeling free and light.

Self-care is different for everyone. You have to do something that you actually enjoy when it comes to caring for your health.

How do you care for yourself when life gets too busy? Or when you have to work long hours to support the family?

One thing that has helped me is priority. When something becomes important enough, I’ll make time for it, no matter what. I’ll come up with the energy, the money, and the time because it’s that important.

That means I have to start with determining what’s most important in my life.

This became even more apparent when I started parenting. The experience of being father taught me that I have to have the energy if I were to be able to care for and play with my child.

In order to do that, I have to take care of myself so that I can care for him. So, whenever I have to step away to jog or lift weights, I don’t feel guilty because my mind is set on staying healthy in order to bring up my child.

When something is important enough, you’ll do it first and then worry about everything else later.

We need to have a plan. That means setting aside time first thing in the morning or after the kids go to bed. As with everything in life, we will make time for what’s important but it won’t happen unless we plan it.

Don’t wait for that perfect moment to get started. I’ve seen people put in a walk while they’re on their way to work because that’s the only time they can exercise. A friend of mine likes to park further away so that he can walk further.

Just do what you can today and build on that later on. I keep a couple of dumbbells next to my desk, and whenever I have a minute or two, I’ll do a quick workout on a busy day.

It’s about doing what you can with what you have and turning that into a daily habit. Once it becomes a habit, you won’t even feel like it’s something you have to do. It’ll just become a part of your daily routine.

The key here is to start small – the smaller, the better. Do it consistently enough, and once it’s a habit, you can add to it.

Begin each day by spending time with God, and throughout the day, find time to listen to His guidance.

Being able to start our day right requires us to be able to discipline ourselves. Many of us need help in this area. If we simply leave it to chance – hoping that we’ll wake up early and have time to spend with God, we’ll most likely miss it.

This used to be my approach, and it failed most of the time until I learned discipline, taking care of my physical life, and managing my sleep. Only then was I able to wake up early consistently and have time for my devotional.

Here’s a tip that will help us – don’t look at your phone first thing in the morning. In fact, don’t touch it. Go straight to your devotional time.

Devotional time does not have to be boring. In fact, this should be the most exciting time of our day.

Instead of just praying for the same things – a new job, new car, new house – make daring and bold prayers, such as making a difference in your city or stepping out in faith with a new business venture. Then go out and actually live out your prayers. Watch how God uses you and your prayer life when you pray and walk in faith!

“Do not remember the things that have happened before. Do not think about the things of the past. See, I will do a new thing. It will begin happening now. Will you not know about it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. – Isaiah 43: 18-19

Spend your prayer time listening to Him, waiting upon Him, and worshipping Him. Instead of telling God what He needs to do, let Him tell you what you need to do.  If you struggle with sitting still like I do, do prayer walks where you walk and pray at same time.

Prayer – “I surrender my body and my mind to You. Help me to manage it so that I’m able to serve You and others. Use me today to make a difference in this city. Open doors for me to walk through so that I can help others find healing in You.  Keep guiding me each moment so that I’m doing only the things You want me to.”

Maybe your life has been filled with pain, mistakes, and past failures that resulted in your struggling with fear and anxiety. He wants to renew you and heal your brokenness when you surrender your life to Him.  Surrendering is more than just a concept in our head.  It’s living out that posture each moment before Him.

Spend more time in His presence instead of merely asking for things that you want to see happen. Open your hands and receive from Him freely. Allow God to pour His presence, grace, and love into your life. He loves you just as you are because you are His beloved.

“Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me.” – Psalm 51:10

Prayer – “God, I know there’s much junk within my life. From my past and from this world. I pray that You will heal and renew my innermost being each day and fill me with Your presence. I invite Your Spirit to cleanse my mind and heal my broken heart.”

He will renew your heart when you allow Him to.

Run to Him like a rebellious child who ran away from home, and watch Him run out to you and embrace you again.